Saturday, December 20, 2008

boys i have kissed first kiss. first love. 9th grade, slow-dancing in someone's basement. "so that's it?"...was pretty much what i thought. he was a class officer and i was a cheerleader--when that was over so were we, but he broke my heart and i didn't get over him for maybe three years. first missionary. nice boy who wore corrective shoes because one leg was shorter than the other. he was two years older than i. born in England. his parents were the cemetery caretakers. our song..."Sugar." he gave me a gold heart-shaped watch that hung on as a necklace and a leather-bound triple combination with my name engraved on it.

breck...super smart and a little dorky. leading man in all of the plays and musicals in high school. one year older. my second missionary. he took me to see THE CHERRY ORCHARD, a play by Anton Chekhov. i considered him a possible spouse and he inspired me to be my best. he gave me a piece of wedgewood and limoges...both sitting on my dresser. first summer at BYU. del was from Florida, my age and missing his left thumb due to a farming accident. whenever we went to the movies i made sure to sit on the thumb side. del loved to kiss and so did i. when life felt a little boring i always went out with del. he went on a mission and that was the end of that.

neil...another boy from the South that i met at BYU. reddish-blonde hair, returned missionary and for some reason wasn't wearing his garments. he said he had a skin condition, but i was suspect of that. fun, but a little too eager. he gave me the man and woman statue on my dresser that i hang jewelry from.

kim...from Seattle. his mother wrote "popcorn popping" and he took me to a dance at BYU where i dressed up in a white lacey dress with a full skirt. it was a one night kissin' in the car after the dance and that was it. he had a twin and they were in our university ward. he used me for a smooching session and i was not really ok with it.

larry...27 and a masher. i sported whisker burns from this dude. he had a moustache. cranky with noisy little kids in the movie house. played BYU rugby. took me to meet his mother in Salt Lake. we attended the Provo temple dedication together and he said, "i can picture you in white." that was the end for me. he did take me tubing on the snow and i still have a scar on the outside of my left wrist from holding on to him going down the hill and hitting the ground with that wrist at each bump. on that particular day i remember being embarrassed when he told me after i commented on how beautiful the scenery was, "you're the most beautiful thing here." looking back it sounds sweet, but at the time i felt dumb.

brian...another BYU boy from Palo Alto, California. he wore socks with his sandals. he looked a little Italian to me. nice enough, but i knew he was shopping for a wife. i was always being interviewed which i found quite intriguing. my height, nice, smart and a good guy. something about the way he breathed through his nose was a little weird. somehow i thought my family would not pass the test.

jerry...a good guy. faithful, kind, fun, buff...a believer in everything i cared about but most important a believer in me. i admit I KISSED HIM...his lips were just irresistible. i kissed him mid-sentence and he just kept on talking. i could tell he was ruffled which made me laugh on the inside, but just grin on the out. by far the very best kisser..."i could drink a case of you darlin' and still be on my feet, and still be on my feet."


Friday, December 19, 2008

i love the snow

i walked outside tonight and it was magic.

all alone, boots squeaking on freshly fallen snow. little if any traffic. quiet, dark, dull gray sky, perfect.

i made a snow angel in my neighbors back yard. her mother died last month and i thought maybe she would look out of her kitchen window while she is doing the dishes and see that her mother has not forgotten about her.

there is magic and mystery walking alone with a slight falling snow and lots of fresh powder on the ground. i had to chuckle to myself several times as i slid around walking the streets. i knew i could fall, but mostly i didn't want to injure a knee coming down hard on it.

somehow i felt close to God...and that made the night perfect.