Sunday, February 28, 2010

baby dear



her name 
after days of speculation
indecision
deliberation

just what name is suitable
a life long gift
no small task
now that we've met

Lydia

fits
this little one
blessed
beautiful
baby dear 




(her mother the photographer)

...

sweet sorrow




only thing sweet about this parting
is the little family i left behind

my face lied
the exit was misery
 many times almost turning back

plenty of sorrow
for the hugs and kisses
i'm missing





...

Thursday, February 25, 2010

gone too soon




last night i slept with baby dear
hoping mom would get some rest

her first feeding came all too soon
then she was whisked away
to the source of nourishment

but,
as we lay in the dark
together
i listen to sighs and squeaks
reach out in the night
make sure that fuzzy head
still warm

she'll never remember
i'll never forget



...

here to help



he asked if i was going stir-crazy
"do you need to get out"

"heck no," i said
but now that i look at myself
maybe i scared him
we are after all 
goofing off
a lot




...

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

well loved



the timer was set
ten minutes each
ooohs and aaahs
she is finally here
bringing a little heaven
with each sigh



...

Monday, February 22, 2010

new one



it was all there
blood
water
sacrifice
Spirit
perfect love

it was all there
a holy place
support
encouragement
heaven


it was all there
everlasting life



...

Sunday, February 21, 2010

off



off to Boise
five hour drive
carry me safe
help me help
a new life
a miracle
to come




...

Saturday, February 20, 2010

to walk




this is my walking partner
for the past twenty some years
off and on
we have weathered
rain
snow
ice
heat
wind
(which we hate)
and the most amazing
sunrises
sunsets
autumn colors and smells
spring buds burst and birds singing
frozen winter spills with a thunk on the head

soaking up life
solving the world's problems
only to be solved again the next day

she knows my heart
and loves me just the same

this girl makes me laugh
and laugh

and when i cry
she tells me it will be OK

our boys
my girls
 went to school together
worked at the chicken place
hung out together
did life together

her mother love is fierce
beautiful
and i love that about her
no kid is quite as shiny
as her kids
i joke with her about this
she denies it
but i'm convinced
she thinks it so

i love her




...

Friday, February 19, 2010

a view



this day
from the front porch
due east
Mount Olympus
looms large
sturdy
ever changing
still the same

today peaks
shrouded
more snow



...

Thursday, February 18, 2010

girls i love




these are my neighbors
these are my friends
just look at those smiles
their eyes
tell you
of their goodness


you are looking at
competitive
industrious
quick wit
compassionate
card counters
generous
athletic
faith filled
accomplished
women


each one
dear
smart
fun
trying
kind


these girls have
 many times
served and blessed me and mine


you are looking at angels


(and a birthday girl!)



...

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

my only one




my folks were less than excited
when i brought him home
scruffy, aimless, short

but for me
"a diamond in the rough"

i wasn't thinking make-over
but there was sparkle
and
i was dazzled 

how to account for attraction

i still remember where we were
something he said
faith filled
i asked skeptical
"do you really believe that?"
he nodded yes

this speech was foreign
yet i understood
stepping into sunshine
feeling familiar
warm

so
expectation met up with reality
and i almost passed him by
searching for a preconceived notion
of what love looks like
feels like

looking back
so thankful
for a leap of faith
never to regret



...

Monday, February 15, 2010

Mosiah 3 & 4



signs
wonders
types
shadows

stand as
bright testimony
that He lives

repent
forsake
humble
daily

standing steadfast
in faith

to believe is to do
and then
always rejoice
filled with the love of God

and then to share
willingly
without judgement

"are we not all beggars?"

all things perish
but,
what really
matters


(282-297)

*all boys and daughters-i-love here for dinner
*hugs
*cupcakes on the porch with love note
*warm little bodies on my lap
*'little people' cherry chocolates from sweetie with love note
*olympics
*heating pad
*dishwasher
*hot running water
*sweet smelling soap
*helium balloons
*whisperings of the spirit
*french toast
*cast iron
*heart shaped sugar cookies made with TLC


...

Sunday, February 14, 2010

lucky in love


were you ever picked last?

choosing teams
hoping hoping hoping
pick me

knowing full well you stink
at hitting the ball

then, last one standing
feeling left over--
left out

how about a spelling bee?

please, oh please, oh please
let my word be easy

i just don't want to be
first to sit down...or second
disgraced feeling dumb
in front of peers

life is like that sometimes
no luck with the lottery
russian roulette--
doubt i'd hear the click

but, meeting you
you choosing me
first choice
boy howdy!
spelling bee's be damned

when it really matters

i hit the jackpot!



...

Saturday, February 13, 2010

due the 20th



this mama
my dear one
is about to deliver
her sixth angel

she amazes me
always conscientious
ever helpful
true

this mama
once my baby
sober 
observing
dear

i knew then
as i know now
heaven 
reluctantly
let her go
and
we have been
forever blessed




...

Friday, February 12, 2010

sweet 18


it's her birthday
she is 18
but
19 years ago
heaven let her leave

sisters
grandmother
daddy
attended her arrival

her mother
sick and worn
coughed her out

home
pink bald
fresh new
seven eager siblings
clamoring to hold

life is sweeter
since her birth
she is
after all
icing on the cake



...

Thursday, February 11, 2010

boo hoo hoo

did you ever want to
pitch a fit?

something so pure
authentic
immediate
unnerving
to witness
raw real emotion
in a child

honestly
to be at Target, Lagoon--
in the world
and witness
full blown misery
mid-day
i can only think

lunch, blankie, nap

then i take myself home
lunch, book,
maybe nap
thankful
for adult restraint

to cry, rant, and scream
or
to be the mom
or
to be a bystander

sure recipe for a headache



...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

faye


she is holding on
President Hinckley's shovel
used to move earth
temples

see her smile
so much more than
another pretty face

she is holding on
because he held there too
touching where he grasped
an even more sacred handle
because she held there too

she is holding on
such determination
optimism 
a wonder to see
honest
real
giving her all

she is holding on
all her might, mind, strength
morning
noon
and night

she is holding on
moving heaven
and earth
His echo



...

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

repose



to recline
to read
to think
to dream

a daily dose
makes me
complete

surrounded by green
even better



...

Saturday, February 6, 2010

He hears



to be rescued
much like this

for many years
this painting has hung
prominent
over hearth

 a story about
seagulls
and crickets
dispair and gobbled dreams
faith and tears
so long ago

now i know
forever braided
my prayer
His tender mercies
save

 sent to
 rescue

every single day




...

Friday, February 5, 2010

this year's theme





Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.  Joshua 1:9

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.   
Isaiah 41:10

Fear not I am with thee oh be ye not dismayed; For I am thy God and will still give thee aid, I'll strengthen thee help thee and cause thee to stand, Upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand.
When through the deep waters I call thee to go, The rivers of sorrow shall not overflow; For I will be with thee thy troubles to bless And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress.
When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie, My grace, all-sufficient, shall be thy supply. The flames shall not hurt thee; I only design Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.

-HOW FIRM A FOUNDATION...hymn-by Keene (1787)

...

Thursday, February 4, 2010

perspective


Perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave.  ~Rainer Maria Rilke




...

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

daily view



a smattering
 of faces
we love
layered

behind each smile
a memory
of kindness
sharing

throughout the day
we come here
milk-eggs-fruit-veggies

impossible to not view
smiling eyes

a little prayer
offered
for faces we love



...

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

breakfast




peaches
pineapple
strawberries
banana
blueberries
mixed spring greens
with some variations
just about
every
single
day
yum!



...

Monday, February 1, 2010

staple



this girl
exists
eating


only
this
(pretty much)



...