Thursday, March 31, 2011

the beat goes on

I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.  ~Author Unknown

joseph and lynda last Sunday

  • the word
  • grace everywhere i look
  • the ability to see 
  • spinach for my smoothie
  • over ripe bananas (sweetest for my smoothie)
  • sweet remembrance from young audree
  • YW girls teaching me how to use my phone
  • pink in the morning sky
  • the birds know it's Spring
  • Ann's book
  • conference weekend
  • to hear laurel laugh
  • dave and kell coming to town
  • being lead by the spirit

Before you were conceived I wanted you
Before you were born I loved you
Before you were here an hour I would die for you
This is the miracle of life.
Maureen Hawkins

(true of each child)

oldest son / oldest child

oldest son's / oldest children...from oldest sons

The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the 
world there hasn't been, and until the end of the world there will not be, 
another child like him.
Pablo Casals


Tuesday, March 29, 2011

families are forever

You can kid the world.  But not your sister.  ~Charlotte Gray

(note to alison written September 1996) last spring

thank you dear ali for sending a smile my way...i love my girls.  xox


Friday, March 25, 2011

nine from the jar

what is ONE WORD on how to live successful?

the first word that popped into my head

and i'm sticking with it

Know all and you will pardon all. --Thomas A’Kempis

Father forgive them, for thy know not what they do.--Jesus


Thursday, March 24, 2011

badly done, emma. badly done.

some of my all time favorite lines


Emma, how could you be so unfeeling to Miss Bates? How can you be so
insolent to a woman of her age and situation? I had not thought it


How could I help saying it? I daresay she did not understand me.


Oh, I assure you, she felt your fool meaning. She cannot stop mentioning
it! I wish you could have heard her honor your forbearance in putting up
with her when her society is so irksome.


I know there is no better creature in all the world, but you must allow
that blended alongside of the good there is an equal among of ridiculous in


Were she prosperous, or a woman equal to your age and situation, I would
not quarrel with any liberties of manner. But she is poor! Even moreso than
when she was born, and should she live to be an old lady, she will sink
further still, her situation being in every way below you should secure
your compassion! Badly done, Emma. Badly done. She has watched you grow
from a time when her notice of her in honor to this, humbling her and
laughing at her in front of people who would be guided by your treatment of
her. It is not pleasant for me to say these things, but I must tell you the
truth while I still can, proving myself your friend by the most faithful
counsel, trusting that sometime you will do my faith in you greater justice
than you do it now.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

the jar...8

what are your favorite smells

rain on hot pavement
loved running through the sprinklers as a kid
then laying on the hot cement

i squeeze one almost every day in my smoothies

kids that smell like the wind
(or just came in from playing outside)
liz says i just like the smell of sweaty kids

freshly mowed grass


the linen closet
bars of soap tucked between the sheets

autumn leaves

it's true...i love the smell of cilantro

(that would be me if i drank coffee)
i used to hang around the coffee grinder in the grocery store when i was a kid

if he's not wearing CLUBMAN

thank thee Heavenly Father
i love these smells


Tuesday, March 22, 2011

i can see it

the sun filtered in. just so
it doesn't take a calendar
to tell me
i would know you. anywhere
not a doubt
 dwindling day
this shadow
on that wall
a calling card
to announce


Monday, March 21, 2011

you will find me on the rooftop

Saturday early morning call from casino in Las Vegas
in the bathroom crying
she had been there two days
went with someone who promised marriage
got there and told her she needed to make him some money

she ran away
sweetie told her to find security

three hours later another phone call
she was being held secure in room with guard at casino
her speech is slurred
she says she hasn't slept in two days

Sunday she calls sweetie at his layover in Denver
casino called paramedics...she was in bad shape
she is at a treatment facility

today i phoned the treatment faclity
spoke with her
hard to recognize her voice
she is being moved somewhere
sorry  "messed up my birthday"
sorry  "my life is a failure"

the lamb, the coin, the dear one is found...i am relieved...i rejoice!

we all rejoice...what was lost now is found
ever praying for a "mighty change of heart"


Sunday, March 20, 2011

today from thalwil

happy birthday dear auntie
happy birthday to you!

hey there love ..

just tried phoning but your phone rang for a bit and then went to voice mail.  it's coming up on 11 pm here so i guess it's almost 4 pm in your neck of the woods.

i'm thinking that today's anna lee's birthday, yes?  she's been on my mind, and all of the memories are really, really good.

i was thinking tonight that it was annie and norman who took you on that cruise that was supposed to get you away from your sweet one?  i think i've got that right.  a lot of good that did, eh?

(but at least you got a cruise out of it)

thinking of you tonight and celebrating favorite aunt anna lee.

much love from thalwil

i am lucky
my brother
knows my heart
is part of my yesterday's
loves me

i am most fortunate indeed


Friday, March 18, 2011

#7 from the jar

Have you ever broken a bone? Tell about it.

the first time i broke a bone
my right wrist when i was 38 years old

a little wet on the pavement from the rain
three weeks after Liz was born
on my way down the street
to see if Cindy could play

i never made it to her house
my wrist looked like a "Z"

trying to catch myself
a tricky turn
  not wanting to rip my new pants
sweetie was out of town
sam (my oldest) 16 years old 
drove me to the hospital
chastising me for riding in the rain
 rolled up magazine supporting my wrist

the Dr. suspended my fingers
Chinese finger trap

after administering pain medicine
with all his weight
he pulled, leaned, tugged

my baby was three weeks old
avoiding surgery
a new baby at home to nurse
seven other children needing their mama

all that hanging 
from my arm lined up bones
man oh man did it ever hurt
sweetie chewed me out when he got home
"you're too old to be doing stuff like that"
my dad got after me
"too many are depending on you"

they were right about my many responsibilities
but, i wasn't too old
the skill just wasn't there

then when i was 54
i was skiing much too fast
the light was flat
a little icy

i hit an unexpected bump or dip

broken right clavicle - close to shoulder

boy oh boy
did that ever hurt

i skied down the hill
sixth child, third son david drove me home

when sweetie got through skiing 
he came home
we went to the hospital
pain meds.
i was back in business
sort of

sleeping was miserable

once again speed exceeded my skill

maybe that trip was doomed at the get go
i slid off the road on the way up the mountain
 that great big white suburban
before we ever got there

speed and an icy turn
(seems to be a theme)


laurel update

sweetie received a text from her two days ago
she sounds angry, frustrated, whacked out
lots of blame
only a few lines were exchanged
we don't know where she is
she says she is going far far away...
she used to talk about going to Alaska
some silly notion
"they pay you to live there"
"marijuana is legal"

the police are looking for her
sort of

we are blessed with peace

thank you dear ones for love, support, prayers
in behalf
of my dear girl, and her family
truly, we are strengthened by those offerings



the jar...number six

what did your grandfather do for a living?

John Henry (Pete) Peterson
he adopted and raised my mother

  1. worked as a butcher where he lost three middle fingers on his right hand
  2. worked as manager for Underwood Typewriter until WWII
  3. worked as promoter selling land
  4. grew up in Colonia Juarez, Mexico in a polygamist family...buried in Salt Lake City cemetery

Milton Erwin Price
my mother's natural father

  1. Colorado sheep rancher and homesteader
  2. grew up in Eureka, Utah...buried in Salt Lake City cemetery
illustration...not actual photo of him

Nathan George Clark
my father's father

He basically lived off of his inheritance which necessitated my grandma Clark taking the Bamburger to Salt Lake in her later years to work as a scrub woman until she had a heart attack

  1. The only job my dad can remember him having was when he was a dishwasher for a brief time at Keeley's Cafe and Candy Store in Salt Lake City
  2. He was a polygimist
  3. grew up in Farmington, Utah...buried in Farmington, Utah cemetery


    Thursday, March 17, 2011

    a full day

    That was rough.... Thing to do now is try and forget it.... I guess I don't quite mean that.  It's not a thing you can forget.  Maybe not even a thing you want to forget.... Life's like that sometimes... Now and then for no good reason a man can figure out, life will just haul off and knock him flat, slam him agin' the ground so hard it seems like all his insides is busted.  But it's not all like that.  A lot of it's mighty fine, and you can't afford to waste the good part frettin' about the bad.  That makes it all bad.... Sure, I know - sayin' it's one thing and feelin' it's another.  But I'll tell you a trick that's sometimes a big help.  When you start lookin' around for something good to take the place of the bad, as a general rule you can find it.  
    ~From the movie Old Yeller


    • lava lamp casting shadows of blue on the night wall
    • cindy ever ready to help
    • janet's new baby
    • exercise with julie
    • ever support from sweetie
    • nate's note
    • Moroni and the title of liberty
    • my children trying to reach their sister
    • young women program
    • i had a ball working hard last night
    • those kids sharing their talents
    • delicious food
    • adults giving time
    • examples of Christ-like living all around me
    • a vision 
    • the peace of prayer
    • a life of purpose
    • the promise of today
    • smiles
    • floss
    • a new day
    • Japanese people trying


    Tuesday, March 15, 2011

    an empty day

    even though it's 62 degrees outside
    it may as well be freezing
    for all i care


    Monday, March 14, 2011

    29 tomorrow

    "You know that place between sleep and awake, 
    the place where you can still remember dreaming? 
    That's where I'll always love you, Peter Pan. 

    That's where I'll be waiting"

    -- Author:Tinkerbell

    • clothes tumbling in the dryer
    • clothes swishing in the washer
    • last night's fireside
    • inspiring speakers
    • Susan Black is a good woman
    • devoted women at today's meeting
    • fresh beautiful fruit cut into bite sized pieces
    • funny stories that made me laugh
    • people that laugh at themselves
    • daffodils 
    • some time with Ali and Doug
    • new lungs for Julie
    • the miracle of medicine
    • flushing toilets
    • electricity
    • pure water
    • dry warm bed
    • i know where almost everyone is


    Saturday, March 12, 2011

    yesterday in our world

    because of you
    the bell tolls for me

    No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as any manner of thy friends or of thine own were; any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind.
    And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

    John Donne


    Thursday, March 10, 2011

    lost lamb, lost coin, lost Laurel

    who would not go?
    a little lamb
    wilderness wandering
    i will not stop until i find you

    to lose a coin
    lighting a candle
    sweeping diligently
    until it is found

    "a certain man had two sons"
    "when he came to himself"

    "But when he was yet a great way off,
    his father saw him,
    and had compassion,
    and ran,
    and fell on his neck, and kissed him."
    Luke 15:20

    i too wish to rejoice
    call friends and neighbors
    "I have found my sheep which was lost."
    "for I have found the piece which I had lost."
    "for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again,
    he was lost and is found."

    the bitter truth is this
    she is lost
    this is the cup that tries to swallow me whole

    but, two common denominators
    lost and compassion
    i will never give up


    Tuesday, March 8, 2011

    today and yesterday

    our last morning here
    the sounds
    rain, waves, cock-a-doodle-do

    soon it will be light

    resident cockatoo 
    the dream home for a parrot

    yesterday was a pool day
    i was lazy
    i loved it

    the sky had me mesmerized

    there are about ten sets of these chairs
    strategically located
    $35 a day
    $50 on the beach

    sweetie staying connected
    that hat 
    conversation starter
    basketball comments passed right and left
    pun intended

    there is sweetie
    across the way
    above the pink brick
    far left
    tiny blue speck
    doing his thing

    we shared HULA PIE
    last night
    stopped eating long enough to get a quick photo
    macadamia nut ice cream-hot fudge-lot's of whipped cream
    more m.nuts sprinkled on top

    catching the "red eye" tonight

    there's NO PLACE LIKE HOME!
    snow and all


    Sunday, March 6, 2011

    today is Fast Sunday

    for the past hour i have been trying to sleep
    three a.m. on the island
    six a.m. at home

    we went to see a movie last night

    • entertaining
    • good acting
    • interesting premise 
    • lead to good discussion
    • duty / free will / divine destiny / who is really in charge
    did i really stop eating after a huge breakfast yesterday?

    i hope this isn't messing with The Word of Wisdom
    then again it may explain why i'm awake

    this was all consumed after the movie
    and it all was pretty dang good
    luckily there's a lot of s-t-r-e-t-c-h in my swimming suit
    please tell me i'm not what i eat...

    of the two pictures taken of me yesterday
    this was the best
    i'd like to think i am far cuter than this
    but, the photo pretty much says it all

    pool side reading
    Ann Voskamp's book is amazing
    Nora's book is silly
    Reader's Digest always interesting

    the hotel sends a little news digest to every room each morning
    reading it i learned that Bobby Fischer's estate is just now being settled
    then i googled
    did you know that Bobby Fischer's body was exhumed last year?
    he is buried in Copenhagen
    i always liked the movie SEARCHING FOR BOBBY FISCHER

    on the way to Duke's

    on the way to Duke's

    this is Duke's and this is where you can eat Hula Pie
    hear glasses clinking in the night and loud happy laughter
    smell delicious grilled food
    feel the ocean breeze while you eat
    hear breaking waves
    buy a t-shirt

    it is located right on the beach
    next door

    so, we will go to church at nine
    then take a nature walk in Poipu
    and eventually break our fast