Thursday, January 31, 2013


I've been busy
uncommonly blessed
my dear boy Edward
celebrated a birthday
I donned this outrageous costume once again
for the ward Halloween party
family gathered and celebrated
Elizabeth and her upcoming wedding

neighborhood friends gathered and celebrated
with another bridal shower
school friends gathered
once again Lizzie had a party
 and more celebrations ensued

 we hung out
playing music
Dylan had his first Thanksgiving dinner with the Carter's

one of the kids Thanksgiving tables

 and all of this family time made us lazy and happy
 we went to a German festival
 we kept warm and patiently waited for Christmas

the girls were in the ward Christmas pagent
 Elizabeth had her bridal pictures taken
 i loved the freshly fallen snow
 ornaments exchanged with siblings
new boots for the girls
Melissa and her dad enjoy Bo
 my dad recovers from a spill on his bicycle
 the hustle and bustle of wedding and Christmas keep us smiling
 Elizabeth dismantles her room
she is moving on
her heart is devoted
i wonder how i will go on
 fresh roses for the beautiful bride
 it's cold
she doesn't notice
we all gather
it's "a perfect day"
 meanwhile the snow keeps falling
 honeymooners leave this home
and build a home of their own
she is coughing and suffering from shingles
he is driving 1200 miles with a sick bride
they are happy
neighborhood friends keep us laughing
(i've noticed lately that honey has a hard time staying with the photographer)
holy work keeps me busy, focused and thankful
each young woman and leader selected a word of focus for the new year
 meanwhile i am invited to present a speech
my alma mater
i am honored
i went sledding and broke some ribs
pretty much lived in this sheet covered chair
looking out this window while i mended
and received TLC from so so many
i am humbled
this has been my life's work
every. single. child.
i was never more proud than when they each took the floor
honoring their little sister
the evening before she was wed
here is my mother-in-law... she loves red
my darling
our children
their children
(we are missing four Nydegger boys)
our children and their spouses
and the circle of life brings us
born to Alison and Doug
January 21st, 2013
she weighed in at a whopping 9 lbs. 5.5 oz.


Tuesday, January 29, 2013


it was her second run
knit hat
small red sled
she was ready
to fly

the night was dark
not a star
she looked for the moon
the hill was compact

she hopped on the sled
it almost left without her
breathing life

all too soon she was off the sled
it kept going
so did she
landing hard and the wind was gone
all she wanted was breath
all she wanted was home

almost two weeks later
she still sleeps in a chair
everyday stronger
but they were right
it got worse
before it got better


Thursday, January 3, 2013

because He cares

The story...

Wednesday afternoon I had just walked into my bedroom when I heard a loud thump on the window. My doors in the bedroom are all glass. I walked over to the window and saw a little bird almost buried in the snow...on his back, feet up. I had a small basket handy that had just been collected from sissy's room. I opened the door and scooped up the little bird. His little eyes were blinking but I wasn't sure if he broke his neck or not. I gave the basket a slight shake to loosen the snow around him and then i put the basket there close to where he fell. Within 3-5 minutes the basket was empty. Even though I was working there in my room I didn't get to see him leave.

This sweet experience was a tender mercy for me. On Tuesday morning our youngest and last child took flight. I have been limping along. Sad. Thankful. Blue. Tender. Sad. As I was driving home from Jazzercise yesterday I noticed a tear was rolling down my cheek. I thought of how small my loss is compared to Joan Ashton, Margaret Sargent and Anne Marie Barton. I was humbled...which happens to be the word on my bracelet...pounded into my bracelet. 

Liz and I had been cleaning out her room that Monday. Her Easter basket was one of the few items left that needed to be put away. When that little bird hit the window I looked around and right there... waiting to be put away in my closet... was her small basket. I remembered then that God sees us. He loves us. Even a sparrow that falls from the sky He notices and cares about. He let me rescue a little sparrow and sent me a message. How amazing really. I am humbled.


Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Feeling blue...

I just don't feel like celebrating the New Year today.

Oh, I am thankful with blessings to share but...

my gal drove off to Galveston Texas today at dawn with her Prince Charming.

FREAKING 1200+ miles away! (as the crow flies)

I'm consoled by remembering the diminishing view of my parents as I drove out of their driveway heading to California when I was twenty. If they were sad I never heard about it.

My parents eloped at seventeen. Certainly unexpectedly leaving their parents. They were the youngest in their families...not sure if they left their parents empty nesters.

I've had a long time to prepare for each of eight children to fly.
But, this last little birdie leaves an ache in my chest, stinging in my eyes and I'm just limping along.
I've had a baby to love for the past 38+ years. Someone to anticipate coming home and sharing a little bit of their day. A child to watch grow, learn and develop into people I really like to spend time with. Only Sam and Liz have had me all to themselves. Sometimes I have had to spread myself thin. I've loved every minute of mothering. (Except for when I was screaming like a mad woman).

So Happy New Year to us all. I'll get through this missing. Everyone does.

btw... he will take good care of her and she adores him.