Thursday, December 31, 2009

blue moon



opened my eyes
to a blue moon
stepped outside
feet avoiding snow
click

on New Year's Eve
will happen again
2028

let's see
easy math
i'll be
75

unless
i get run over
cancer
drown
shot
or any number
of bad news
possibilities

a lot will happen
between now and then

in the meantime
embrace
another New Year



...

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

creation




(illustration Michelangelo's fresco Sistine Chapel ceiling painted circa 1511)





i love the feeling of a fresh start
a new year
change
anything is possible


with 2010 knocking
i have ideas
strides to improvement
but,


reluctant
passed trying
not quite hitting goal,
leaves me hesitant


step out of the foyer
approach that holy place
"fresh courage take"
create


after all
i know
joy
in attempt




...

Monday, December 28, 2009

lasts




* when he shimmied up the thirty foot flag pole...descended in a flash, and declared, "you'll never see that again."

* watching that last baby move inside of me wondering...it's not likely that i will ever experience this again.

* the visit in her bedroom--the hug--getting in the car and driving away. knowing that embrace was the last.

* reading a storybook and then it occurs to me..."you will never be asked to read this again."

* sitting through that elementary school Halloween parade watching you stroll by all made up.

what was it about these experiences that made me aware of  the last time?

Last night I savored time spent with those I love wondering at lasts.

usually i brush by lasts. the pain of endings can spoil the nows. life has been so sweet that i choose not to see something as an experience that i may never witness again. usually.


...

always climbing



with no end in sight.


...

Saturday, December 26, 2009

dear one



what do you see?
how could you know
that she was in jail last Christmas...
that she hitchhiked to Sacramento
with a cat
 lived and almost died
on the streets

can you tell?
she reads on a 4th grade level
"they put me in stupid school"
wanted to be "regular"
to belong
waiting for the phone to ring
always trying

she is my darling
i see
funny
persistent
real
hoping
good through and through
more than enough

can she stay out of trouble?
will she ever know how much she is loved
is our hope
and prayer
every
single
day

our
wonder of wonder
miracle of miracles



...

Friday, December 25, 2009

merry Christmas



in my bed
only one awake
peaceful chilly house
husband quiet breaths

the birds stir
they know
it's time to rejoice
He is born



...

Thursday, December 24, 2009

God is not dead, nor doth he sleep...




"God bless us, every one!" --Tiny Tim

this is a worthwhile eight minutes and 36 seconds....promise!


...

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

silent night





i need a silent night
a holy night
to hear the angel voice
through the chaos and the noise


i need a midnight clear
a little peace right here
to end this crazy day
with a silent night


-amy grant-




...

Monday, December 21, 2009

my girls



rarely all together
my girls
each one
unique
precious

these girls
my life's intent
make my heart sing
kind
useful

dear girls
jewels
Christmas already came
the gift
together

my darling girls


...

Sunday, December 20, 2009

only four days


For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.  Isaiah 9:6


He could have made it easy
that long dusty trip
to travel so far
great with child
but,
she suffered and obeyed


the road is rough
travel fraught with challenge
always
followed by sweet
His love
that Child


...

Saturday, December 19, 2009

He Heals







"The Atonement of Jesus Christ and the healing it offers do much more than provide the opportunity for repentance from sins.  The Atonement also give us the strength to endure 'pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind,' because our Savior also took upon Him 'the pains and the sicknesses of his people' (Alma 7:11).  Brothers and sisters, if your faith and prayers and the power of the priesthood do not heal you from an affliction, the power of the Atonement will surely give you the strength to bear the burden."


Dallin H Oaks, "He Heals the Heavy Laden," 
Ensign, Nov. 2006, 9



...

Thursday, December 17, 2009

i've been expecting you



when love comes knocking
you must answer the door
no putting off
no come back later

"won't you come in"
"i've been waiting for you"
not really knowing what to expect
but
instant recognition

when love comes knocking
be prepared
to change your life

this most amazing guest
you will ever entertain
will be invited to stay
through thick or thin

forever



(today Joseph and Lynda will be sealed for time and all eternity)


...

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

December 15


twenty-two years ago
our 14th wedding anniversary
Pennsylvania
you were born

the very best anniversary gift
ever
my December baby

rupture then fluid
reluctant to arrive
threatened c-section
i prayed
you came

 in retrospect
pattern

when problems present
pray
you come through

not only you
the asking brought
Him




(happy birthday dear Joseph, happy birthday to you.)


...

Monday, December 14, 2009

pet peeve




i have a thing with punctuality
i find it an important practicality
for me it is a stark reality
that being on time is just plain civility


(none of the -ity virtues referred to in last general conference by Bishop Burton)



Main Entry: pet peeve
Function: noun
Date: circa 1919: a frequent subject of complaint





...

Saturday, December 12, 2009

leonardo da vinci



never only hands
they are a miracle
worthy subject

music...hair...cook...clean...lift...stroke...type...open...close
hang on...let go...twist...pick up
test the water...swim...ski...paint...knit...sew
crochet...tat
dial...trim...weed...embace...clap...wave

work...play...worship

thank Thee for hands


...

Friday, December 11, 2009

you never know...2009









it all started splendid
oldest...pride and joy hair
fixed just so
all ready for the Christmas
family photo

then splat
a dastardly pigeon
let go
overhead

one amused
some concerned
a day not to be forgotten
for the wrong reason

little boys smile
perfect cooperation
hat girl sees the joke
but, oldest
just a poopy day

...

Thursday, December 10, 2009

i stand all amazed



today is a day for temple worship
lynda becomes endowed
supernal gift
parting veil
glimpse of heaven
comprised of family





(241-257)

*to be endowed
*temples close by
*worthy children
*willing heart
*snow
*frosty air to breathe
*Primary
*i know i am His child
*change
*colorful wrapping paper
*morning stretch
*to create
*our heater works
*toast and hot chocolate
*we can pay our bills
*today
*young ed was born

...

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

wabi-sabi





there is a crack
imperfect
yet
most appealing

a vessel to carry
serve
holding my heart

i could never abandon
colors
weight
loveliness
or
memory of
she who came bearing this gift

surrounded
lovely comfort
wabi-sabi



"Wabibitos live modestly, satisfied with things as they are.  They own only what's necessary for its utility or beauty (ideally, both).  They revere humans over machines, surrounding themselves with things that resonate with the spirit of their makersWabi-sabi is imperfect:  a beloved chipped vase or a scarred wooden table.
This getting away from perfect is one of wabi-sabi's most appealing facets.  It means you can keep the tablecloth even though it's fraying on the edges and admire the rug as it fades from brilliant red to pale rose.  You can let things be.  It's like going to Grandma's house.
Our Depression-era grandmothers knew wabi-sabi.  And their houses were so comfortable because they understood, inherently, the difference between wabi and slobby.  Their tablecloths and linens were faded, but they never had rips or tears.  Their furnishings had a settled-in quality, but they weren't dilapidated.  Their floors showed wear, but they were always swept, with rag rugs that wove together memories in their use of old garments."
~Robyn Griggs Lawrence

i read about this idea today (having no idea there was a term for this philosophy)...my life is filled with wabi-sabi...i love it so. this is why i find it difficult to toss items from my life. it's not that i'm hanging on to junk; chipped and scarred speak life and living. those visual reminders make me feel comfortable, and often tell a story.


...

Sunday, December 6, 2009

first star



barely married
first Christmas
choosing an ornament

California warmth
didn't feel like home
downtown store
ornaments galore

but, i knew
it had to be a star
to grace the boughs

that little star
35 trees later
still lights the way

home


...

Saturday, December 5, 2009

brazeli




a Swiss tradition
each Christmas
generations passed down
house fragrant
symbols on each cookie
a proud people

sugar, cinnamon, eggs, butter
toasty thin wafers
crumbs scatter

sweetie
his mother Lois
her mother Stella
her mother grandma Mani
her mother grandma Karlan
as far as anyone can remember

now our children
traditions

swiss iron
emerges each year
we gather
tell stories
listen to the songs

a sweet cycle
perpetuating
love


...

Friday, December 4, 2009

Him



the tree is up
home smells of welcome
clock sings NOEL
little bits of sparkle
scattered to and fro

He would feel peace here
surely He knows

celebration
preparation
gathering
sharing just a little more
longing
a way to honor
adore
Him


...

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

cast on, knit, cast off


metaphor (i think so)





"Choosing your wool is dizzying with potential: The waves of colors and textures tempt with visions of a sweater or cap (and all of the accompanying compliments you hope to receive) but don't reveal the hard work required to get there. Patience and attention to detail make all the difference. Also willingness. Challenge keeps it interesting, but don't select a pattern that's too far beyond you. Always select the best yarn you can afford. And use the type of needle that feels best in your hand; I always used bamboo. Even now, it all seems unbelievable to me that by pulling together a motley collection--the soft yarn, the sharp needles, the scripted pattern, the smoothing hook, the intangibles of creativity, humanity and imagination--you can create something that will hold a piece of your soul. But you can."


The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs








sporting her first knitted creation...miss lizzie...
and yes, she does hold a piece of my soul

...

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

happy/sad



the most baffling thing
just can't figure out
why such a happy event
makes me feel a little blue

love these kids
it's a fit
hand and glove
yet...

a chapter closes
i keep looking back
wanting a little more
of you




...