Saturday, October 31, 2009

spooky fun


come here little child
a story i'll tell
of witches and goblins
of spiders and spells

don't scream or cry
it will do you no good
Halloween has come
to your neighborhood

we'll climb on my broom
and tear through the sky
we'll fly so dang fast
as roof tops race by

you'll be back at school
before the last bell
the kids won't guess
how you flew through h-e-double-hockey sticks

even though your clothes
have the smell of smoke
singed eyebrows and eyelashes
friends think it's a joke

they will never believe you
those girlies and boys
you had a grand adventure
filled with Halloween joy

...

Friday, October 30, 2009



so here we are
i have fallen back
her home
her children
a familiar flavor

a different state
love spills everywhere
shadows the past
a tender mercy
i am humbled

she is her mother
only better
thank Thee
in the letting
a sweet glimpse

there really is no end

photo by alison carter brasher



Thursday, October 29, 2009

satisfied


Isaiah 55

 1Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.
 2Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfieth not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let your soul delight itself in fatness.
 3Incline your ear, and come unto me: hear, and your soul shall live; and I will make an everlasting covenant with you, even the sure mercies of David.



how is it so?
i am fed full and have no thirst

even in my poverty
i am rich beyond belief
Endless love
the fatness of what really matters
is mine

i try to listen
to do
to be
we are bound fast and true

the cost
to daily come
Shim'on


(179-193)

*fresh white pure snow
*breathing deeply frosty air
*sweetie is feeling better
*faye is upbeat
*exercise feels good
*hot oatmeal with brown sugar and milk
*roses on the table -- the last
*useful desire
*new washer
*clean clothes
*laughing with her daddy
*unexpected visit from Sam
*unexpected phone call from Ed
*nice chats with Val and Melissa
*promptings




Tuesday, October 27, 2009

i remember her



this little girl was always loved
she could fly in her dreams
her mother fixed her just so
her daddy tossed her up way high
she had five younger siblings

this little girl loved to pretend
she caught grasshoppers in glass jars
cut out paper dolls
played hop scotch
jumped double-dutch

this little girl could be a pill
she snooped and pranked
she bossed and yanked
she fed mud pies to unsuspecting kids
life was adventure

this little girl made big plans
fame fortune and a handsome prince
happily ever after came
her reality more lovely than imagined
Temple

this little girl has the face of a grammy
beyond wrinkles so much the same
now with more darling hearts to love
in her dreams she still takes flight
aware of fleeting time





Monday, October 26, 2009

even then



even then i was watching
always aware that you were good
strong
dependable
i could count on you

even then i would listen
deep voice
sometimes loud
always sure
encouraging "you can do anything"

even then i knew
you were a force to be reckoned with
hard, unrelenting, no nonsense
apples don't fall far from the tree
i can be hard

even then i thought
you were perfect
adoring you from the start
nothing has changed
except we grew up



Saturday, October 24, 2009

my dad



out of the blue photos
unexpected emotion
because you smiled at me

500 miles and a pay-phone call
broken hearted disbelief
you listened


"Which, by the right and virtue of my place,"
beyond stage lights in darkness
you were there


"hold your skis up, now yell hit it when you're ready"
i yelled, fell over
you circled
again
and again
and again


feeling left out...unwanted
"the last rose of summer is the prettiest rose of all"
you believed in me
so did i


"your word is your bond"
your perfect example
my imperfect choosing
what's left


devotion, admiration, love
endless gratitude
memories
you





Thursday, October 22, 2009

to decide









as you suffered you said, 

"it's because I was so mean."
He doesn't work that way

i swabbed parched lips
the little leather tongue
dried out, waiting

remember the Coke machine?
you paused with longing
"mother's milk" ... i smiled

tough to watch you fade

but your people choose
and you decided

you made me so proud
always a girl with grit
knowing when enough is enough


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

the letter


you wrote the letter asking forgiveness
a mailbox in Canoga Park sheltered the opening
what's to forgive...
i am yours
and you are my one and only

still, i threw the letter away
the humiliation was eight years old
scabbed over, forgotten

we never spoke of the incident or the letter
i didn't have what it takes to go back
that was then,
and now you're gone

i wish i had written a simple "thank you"


To err is human, to forgive, divine.
Alexander Pope

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

you called



i laughed 'til i cried
that phone call
sharing ridiculous
wiping eyes

somehow i stopped
lots to do
heard your voice
sat down

leaves were raining
birds flitting
even a squirrel
because i paused

all has changed
one good laugh
unexpected moment
this bright rainy day



Monday, October 19, 2009

my fix-it man



when i said, "you don't think i just married another pretty face?"
he said, "pretty face?"
and that there comment deserved a big fat kiss--
for you see, this man of mine is multi-faceted.

he sings, he jokes, he plays the guitar, he laughs,
but today he fixed.
and i am down right proud of him.
we girls need a guy that owns a couple of tools.

once late at night we thought we had an intruder.
my man armed himself with a hairbrush before he descended the stairs.
luckily he didn't need to bing someone good
but, once again i was happy not to go down those spooky stairs myself.

no, he's not just another pretty face.
he's fun, reliable, kind, and mine.
i'm lucky and happy--
to have hitched my wagon with a fellow that can fix what's broken.


...

george eliot


Delicious autumn! My very soul is wedded to it, and if I were a bird I would fly about the earth seeking the successive autumns. 
George Eliot









(161-178)

*young ed spent the night in the green chair
*the little Carter kids came with hugs, smiles, love
*Melissa listening to Liz
*Joe's safe arrival home
*phone call from David
*Laurel frosts sugar cookies she made with orange
*mary believes in Laurel
*a walk in autumn beauty with Liz and Laurel
*i can see the colors, smell and crunch in this amazing season
*hosting youth missionaries
*their honest sincere pure witness
*a glimpse of sacred symbols
*lightening flashes wake me up
*mary anne evans aka george eliot
*all are healthy
*my blender
*cinnamon harvest candle
*another day



Sunday, October 18, 2009

Obedience and Sacrifice






They cut desire into short lengths
And fed it to the hungry fires of courage.
Long after—when the flames had died—
Molten Gold gleamed in the ashes.



They gathered it into bruised palms
And handed it to their children
And their children's children. Forever.



Vilate Raile


As I sat in Sunday School today this poem came to me. Today I understand that "desire" is for me to offer my will---my all---to those hungry fires.  It will take every bit of courage I can muster. This kind of obedience and faith will bring everlasting, pure, precious Gold.  But, there must be sacrifice and "bruised palms."


Is there a greater legacy given to those we love than this?



Saturday, October 17, 2009

The Help










the covers quietly close
but for me it's not over
it's been three days
three restless nights
i live the story

it makes me sad
petty pride laced with mean
thin hearts--no vision
disease sequestered to black?
dumbed down

and then i rejoice
when all color is embraced
"you is good"
"you is smart"
"you is important"

I would recommend reading THE HELP by Kathryn Stockett





Thursday, October 15, 2009

the hang-up






quickly a good day can go south
she calls all sugar and spice
a request to drive to heck-and-gone
"it'll look good on my resume"

i look at the time and think of traffic
this sweet, kind, indulged darling
"you need to come home"
pause, no click the line goes dead

i consider being nice, briefly
so many options...
i too hate to be denied...
shuffling downstairs; she's home

saved lunch waiting for her
"do you want to get tossed"
blue eyes looking innocent
i will never be a doormat

quickly a good day gone south
sugar and spice and not so nice
someday will mother
the 'tail will not wag the dog'

for any mother's raised here


...

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

unexpected project





i know where it is
that yellow paper
filled with "favorite things"

i plan to just look
through the stuff close at hand
stacks, piles, favorite things

i keep them close
just in case
a few spare minutes

i love to read
strewn across my bed
reshuffle, organize, pretend

i still can find that paper
but, that marble book
is calling my name


...

Monday, October 12, 2009

to stay



it happened
your mission called
and you said, "yes"

i am humbled
this steely courage
keeps me honest

your eyes shining
wise, kind
intent, deliberate

always trying
completely earnest
forever and ever

photo from nienie's blog


Sunday, October 11, 2009

regret



salty laugh lines
rewinding missed moments
house quiet, pre-dawn
outside soaked earth

birds stir
sensing the sun
and so do i
wishing ... if only,

spilled milk
it's too late
is this what it's like
to grow old?

quiet, dark house
wanting for another chance
alone
feeling regret


I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people.
Dan Quayle

I hate to be a failure. I hate and regret the failure of my marriages. I would gladly give all my millions for just one lasting marital success.
J P Getty


these two guys throw a whole new spin on this topic. xox




...

Saturday, October 10, 2009

to choose










there was no falling
only choice
she was willing to tumble
head over heels
movie like
but,
he was real
wonderful imperfect
real
so,
she chose
blue eyes that laugh
adoring
kindness
real
she wanted to fall
but she chose
love


...

Thursday, October 8, 2009

goodly parents


"for you were born of goodly parents"
words light memory
so it is
no nonsense -- "grow up"

ever a watchful eye
i could count on them
each one
to show up

to show up
or to stay put
somehow they knew
"your word is your bond," he said

my "goodly parents"
were steady and true
i remember
shouting, tears, hurled milk

still, "goodly parents"
tried again and again
for more
teasing, praying, working

it was a patriarch's voice
but really God
He knew and so do i
"for you were born of goodly parents"


...

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

two girls




they are sisters
hazel and blue
one grade apart
married to cousins

they shared a blue bedroom
tidy and not
a dormer window
fun then pushing

they are best friends
exchange recipes
laugh freely
understand completely

they are after all
sisters
separated by miles
sealed never to part


Tuesday, October 6, 2009

trouble



one look at this face
and it's tough to imagine
he's capable of capture
his small hand a grabbin'

poor little Squidgy
our once faithful fish
in this innocent grasp
his poor life got squished

beware of a three year old
chasing loose and free
good thing he's a cutie
or i'd tie him to a tree

now his mama cried tears
for the fish and the boy
he was put to bed soundly
the catch brought no joy

i love them both dearly
this mama and son
we bought a new Squidgy
too bad he can't run

photo by alison carter brasher




...

Monday, October 5, 2009

this abundant life


photo...alison carter brasher

i am living my dream

long, long ago she looked at the stars
in no hurry to get home
and whispered a small prayer
she was small and the sky so large

please, please bless me
a happy heart seeking happiness
precious babies
someone to love and love me back

known, knowing
now this child all grown up
still feels that earnest prayer
and bathes in fruition

He, only He
heard heart felt yearnings
pouring out love
presented presents

i am living my dream



(114-160)

*sweetheart
*sam
*melissa
*doug
*alison
*danny
*katie
*edward
*valerie
*laurel
*david
*kelli
*joseph
*lynda
*elizabeth
*kitty
*tweetie
*chevy
*general conference
*sticky buns
*nielsen's frozen custard
*clean laundry
*working machine
*running water (hot & cold)
*warm feet
*autumn's chill
*phone call from my dad
*a hug that smells of cloves
*moon-lit sky
*ann voskamp
*the chance to give
*audree
*bob
*angela
*gary
*jeff
*pam
*nathan
*greg
*anson
*kristi
*prayer
*Book of Mormon
*Bible
*quiet
*dark
*peace

...